The Telephone

"The Telephone"
Song by Marilyn Manson & the Spooky Kids
Album	The Beaver Meat Cleaver Beat
Released	March 1990
Recorded	January–March 1990
Genre	Alternative metal
Length	4:49
Label	Beat Up Your Mom
Writer	Marilyn Manson
Producer	Frank Falestra
External links	Search ISRC Search at Musicstax

"The Telephone" is the seventh track on the 1990 release The Beaver Meat Cleaver Beat.

Appearances

Cassettes

• The Beaver Meat Cleaver Beat

Versions

• "The Telephone" — Appears on The Beaver Meat Cleaver Beat.

Lyrics

    Another night of too much cough syrup. 
    I am awakened by the incessant ringing of the telephone.
    I still have dreams caked in the corners of my eyes and 
    my mouth is dry and tastes shitty.
    
    Again—the ringing. Slowly, I bustle out of bed. 
    The remnants of an erection still lingering in
    my shorts like a bothersome guest.
    
    Again the ringing. Carefully I abscond to the bathroom 
    so as to not display my manhood to others. 
    There I make the perfunctory morning faces, 
    which always seem to precede my daily contribution to 
    the once-blue toilet water that I always enjoy making green.
    
    Again the ringing. I shake twice like most others, 
    as I am annoyed by the dribble that always seems to remain, 
    causing a small acreage of wetness on the front of my briefs. 
    I slowly, languidly, lazily, crazily stumble into the den where 
    my father smokes his guitars—I mean cigars—In his easy chair. 
    I know all about easy chairs. And then I sing a song for my friends:
    
    "Jesus is my boyfriend
    Jesus is my boyfriend
    You can't have him
    Because Jesus is my boyfriend"
    
    Ringing, ringing. Dang it goddamn motherfucking son-of-a-bitch is ringing. 
    I walk into the kitchen and I stare blankly at that shrieking plastic bastard. 
    Since it keeps ringing I know it's her, 
    and since it keeps ringing she knows it's me.
    
    We are the world, we are the children
    We are the ones who make a darker day
    So let's start killing
    There's a choice you're making
    We're sparing our own lives
    It's true we'll make a darker day
    Just you and me

Trivia

• The instrumental at the end of the song is titled "The Nighthawks".
• The song has been incorrectly referred to by such names as "Jesus Is My Boyfriend", and "Talk of One, Thought of None".
• "The Telephone" is one of Marilyn Manson's favorite poems, according to his autobiography The Long Hard Road Out of Hell.
• According to Daisy Berkowitz, the correct title for the track is "Bitchy Beginnings of an Oversexed Twelve Year Old".